Reiki and Conflict Resolution
By RMTs, Susan Bradford, Claudia Fischer, and Catherine Roche
Reiki-thegift.com
The Work of Marshall Rosenberg
The groundbreaking work of Marshall Rosenberg has been instrumental in changing the way thousands of people relate to each other, from individuals to teachers and students, prisoners, negotiators, and government leaders. It is a treat to be in Marshall’s presence as he shares his total command of the principles of Nonviolent Communication(NVC) with wisdom, humor, and a deep spirituality.
Marshall’s work is not so much a model of conflict resolution as an overall look at the way we communicate and how to improve it.
NVC provides a framework within which we can learn about ourselves and relate better to all those around us. At its core it also teaches us to take responsibility for our own needs, values, and feelings. In doing so, we begin to recognize and understand those qualities in others. It is this type of conscious communication that, ultimately, can result in a more successful resolution of conflict.
The Four Main Components of NVC:
 |
Observations: We become aware of how to observe without judgment and to understand that what we observe affects our well-being. |
 |
Feelings: We learn to express how we feel. |
 |
Needs: We recognize our needs, begin to express them, and then connect them to how we are feeling. The needs create the feelings. |
 |
Requests: We gain the ability to request concrete actions
to enrich our lives. |
A collaborative Approach to Conflict Resolution
Based on our experience with the models described above, we have developed a system, which we call A Collaborative Approach to Conflict Resolution. The philosophy behind this method is to honor each person’s needs, to allow everyone to retain his or her dignity, and to arrive at a joint solution that will ultimately benefit everyone.
Following is an abbreviated version of the seven steps in our approach. Using these concepts can change the way we communicate with each other and thereby positively effect how we lead our lives. As we create a peaceful environment, we become vehicles for positive change in our own lives and the lives of those around us.
|
Prepare Yourself: Before approaching any situation that involves conflict, it is important to be centered and clear. |
|
Look at the Situation: Maintain your objectivity as you observe what is happening with yourself and other persons involved in the conflict. This will help you to see the possibility of arriving at a mutually beneficial outcome. |
|
Pinpoint Needs and Interests: Expressing your unmet needs and learning about the needs of the other person(s) are an important element in resolving conflict. It can take great courage to make yourself vulnerable in this way. Sharing your needs often opens the door for the other person to share their needs with you. |
|
Get in Touch with Feelings and Create Empathy: Recognizing your own feelings of fear, anger, hurt, and frustration is an essential aspect of the process. It is also important to acknowledgethe other person’s feelings with empathy and compassion.
|
 |
Identify Options: As you work toward resolving the conflict, allow new insights to arise without judging them. Use brainstorming to uncover alternate solutions. |
 |
Use Conscious Communication and Foster Cooperation: You are now at a crucial point in the process, and it is important to be very conscious of your body language and how you convey your ideas to the other person. Avoid using language that judges, criticizes, demands, threatens, or tries to make the other person feel guilty. |
 |
Develop a Satisfying Agreement: At this stage, the benefits of finding a solution and the value of learning to cooperate with each other will begin to be more clear to both you and the other person(s). Search for attainable goals and an effective plan of action to accomplish them. |
Integrating Reiki with the Collaborative Approach to Conflict Resolution
This process can be used for every kind of conflict from a minor disagreement with a partner, to a court appearance, or to world situations over which you have no direct control.
|
Give yourself Reiki prior to meeting face to face with other persons involved. Or, better still; arrange to receive a treatment from another practitioner. This will help you to identify your own feelings and issues around the conflict, as well as to begin the healing process. |
|
Send distant Reiki to yourself and all persons involved in the conflict, with the intention that the situation and each person involved be surrounded by and filled with light. |
|
During the meeting, use Reiki on your solar plexus to connect to your inner strength. Hold the intention that you will remain calm, at peace, open and responsive to others’ needs and views, and that you will be able to clearly articulate your own feelings and needs. |
|
Use Reiki on your heart to build a bridge of understanding. Do this before and during any meeting that is to take place, with the intention that balance and harmony will prevail and that the situation will be resolved for the highest and best good of all. |
|
Use reiji-ho to activate your Third Eye with the intention of “seeing” solutions to the conflict. |
|
Ask for further guidance to help you choose words that will create understanding and harmony. |
|
As you are working toward an agreement, fill your surrounding environment with Reiki light so that trust can begin to develop. Even after the meeting is over, continue to send distant Reiki to everyone involved, holding the intention of healing any residual issues and the desire for a smooth implementation of the agreed upon solution. |
An Example of How This Approach Works
Sharon and Don had just gotten married, and he moved into the house where she had been living for several years. She worked during the day and he worked at night, so when she left in the morning, he was still asleep. Inevitably, when she got home from work, she found the bed unmade. After a time, this really bothered her. With her irritation building, she realized that something needed to be done and decided to try using good conflict resolution skills combined with Reiki.
Although this may appear to be a relatively minor issue, if it were not addressed at all, it could fester and eventually undermine the relationship. If it were handled poorly, the result could be escalating anger and discord. Conversely, if dealt with appropriately, a seed for establishing good communication within the relationship would be planted.
Before initiating her discussion with Don, Sharon took the time to prepare herself by gathering her thoughts while giving herself Reiki on her head and heart. This calmed her and softened her frustration and anger. Sharon was now ready to look at the situation more objectively and was able to see that Don was more than likely oblivious to her needs about having the bed made. With this insight, she sent distant Reiki to the entire situation with the intention that she and Don would work through the issue.
When she felt centered, Sharon approached Don and let him know that there was something they needed to talk about. Holding her hand over her solar plexus and asking for Reiki guidance, she began to tell him about her needs and feelings. She expressed that when she came home after a very hectic workday, she needed a sense of peace and order. For Sharon, the unmade bed had become a symbol of chaos and disharmony. Her bedroom was no longer her sanctuary.
|
 |
|
|
